"A Portrait of Clayton"
This body of work: “A Portrait of Clayton” is an expression of my Grandfather’s life pictured through the eyes of my youth, as well as a performative illustration of the health complications that took his life.
In realization of this body of work, I played the role of my grandfather in not only adoring his clothes, but also the attributes, quirks, and habits that I remember as so distinctly his own — habits like eating sweet pickles with every meal and working as tirelessly at his crossword as in his garage.
My brother, mother and grandmother were also enlisted to help me create these images as you will see various figures appear throughout the series, all wearing a bright siren-red. This color holds a special significance to me as it transports me back to his early days in the hospital.
My grandfather was hospitalized in November of 2019, and in an attempt to bring a bit of home into his then bleached, sterile hospital room, my Grandmother brought bright-red poinsettias to place in the corner — a holiday tradition. She placed the bouquet on the desk opposite his cot; always facing him, commanding and ever-present.
Though a nice sentiment, a combination of morphine and confusion brought Grandpa the idea that a woman in red was always in the corner facing him.
Initially, we were concerned the flowers had frightened him, but he quickly explained that “the woman in red just won’t stop flirting with me” (this was one of the moments that really reminded us that he was still with us, even if far away.)
Therefore, bringing the woman in red to life was the best way to represent what I can only imagine went on in his head at the time.
In this work there are other, more obvious nods to his declining mental and physical health; like the marks on the walls from where my mother and I set up ballet bars to help teach him to walk, or the imagery of the woman, and the boy in red releasing the shutter, never allowing him control of the narrative.
This work is ever evolving as I search for ways to reconcile myself with his passing and learn to make amends with the woman in red.
